We must warn our children about cyberbullying dangers
17-11-11
Published: Western Mail
It can be anonymous, round the clock and invade the most personal space. Here Gareth Davies explains what we should know about cyber bullying – and how to tackle it
For many adults ‘cyber bullying’, where a person uses the internet or a mobile phone to bully another, is an alien concept.
For those who left school in or before the mid 1990s, bullying was different. Bullied children knew once the school day ended or the weekend began it meant a break from victimisation, physical assaults and humiliation. But things have changed. In contemporary society, children and young people rely on technology to communicate and in many cases to function. Can you think of many young people who do not have a mobile phone or internet access? And this is where cyber bullying and its impact upon young people is different: often it is a 24/7 invasion of their lives which intrudes in a sinister way on places they traditionally felt safe, such as their bedroom, home and in the company of parents. Cyber bullying often involves public humiliation through social networking sites such as Facebook, and increasingly Springform, which many young people say increases the intensity and impact of bullying.
But it is not limited to social networking. Bullying can be via Blackberry’s and mobile phones or in emails, and in some cases whole websites can be created to bully the victim. Another sinister dimension is anonymity: it is very easy for the bully or bullies to hide their identity, creating more anxiety for the victim in trying to determine who they can trust. With more handheld devices having built-in GPS, a bully can effectively remotely stalk their victim. Often the anonymity afforded by technology can result in more vicious, hateful and ultimately dangerous bullying.
The trend is increasing. The most recent research, by Anglia Ruskin University, found one in five children and young people between 11 and 19 years old had been subjected to cyber bullying. Two thirds had witnessed cyber bullying or knew someone who had been a victim. Those who experienced it as victims themselves were asked about the impact on them. A third said it affected their confidence “quite a lot” or “very much”, while half said it affected their mental and emotional wellbeing. Just over a quarter had stayed away from school, while more than a third had stopped socialising outside school. Over half said they would not seek help, fearing it would make things worse, or feeling they could deal with it themselves. Those who would were most likely to look to parents and friends for support.
Parents and professionals need to wake up to this.
I am often asked why children and young people don’t just turn off their phones or computers. But it isn’t so simple, as American researcher Robin Kowalski makes clear. “For many adults technology is a means to an end but for young people it is an integral part of their day-to-day lives that they cannot simply turn off,” she writes. “This has led to a virtual unsupervised world where children can interact. As adults have not experienced this form of bullying they find it hard to understand.” The NSPCC describes cyber bullying as a “modern day Lord of the Flies”.
Crucially, forms of cyber bullying evolve and develop with technology. The recent riots in England made many adults aware of terms such as Blackberry Messenger or BBM – and indeed even Facebook – for the first time, whereas for young people these have been part of their vocabulary for many years. It is crucial that parents and professionals educate themselves in the media employed for cyber bullying and the language used. If you saw your child writing PAW, POS or PIR on Facebook would you know what it meant? Answer: Parents Are Watching, Parent Over Shoulder and Parent In Room. We cannot expect children and young people to turn off their phones or computers. Instead we must educate them on the impact cyber bullying can have, both on the victim and, importantly, the bully.
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